(pack your lunch box, we're about to go on a bumpy ride....)

This was a three day weekend for most, so all the more excuse to go out and explore new places. My friend Felicia and I decided we wanted a rather uncomplicated night. We would just head over to the Meatpacking District for some dancing, drinking, and a little socializing. Her friend was promoting at Tenjune and mine at Cielo (which equal complimentary booze and no waiting in line).

However when we arrived at Tenjune- the line was a block line, to an almost empty nightclub (the ‘creating a buzz’ with a line is when you’re not at capacity is so 1999- cut it out nightclubs!). Me and Felicia’s favorite door guy from 205 was working security. We gave him a kiss and looked over the crowd.

“How is it inside?” I ask him.

He shook his head. “Maya, this is so definitely not your scene, you’re just going to get as irate as I am going in there.”

I looked over the crowd. It was a sea of peroxide hair, fake boobs, John Gotti Jr. hair do’s and lots and lots of stripped shirts.

“Yah, this is defiantly not my scene, not cute at all!” I said laughing with Felicia. Just then the main door guy walks over to me like an angry bulldog.

“What did you just say?” He said holding his power clip board looking at me angrily.

“I said, not cute at all…” I said. “Why?”

He let my security friend know that I would not be permitted to come into the club. The security guard informed him that I was already leaving.

“Do you own the club?” I asked the doorman.

“No.” He said still fuming.

“Then why do you care what I think?” I said walking away. Me thinks the man with the clip board takes his job a little too seriously.

Felicia and I walked over to Cielo, deciding that maybe we would just say a quick hello to our friend Shu who was working the door. Just as we give him a quick kiss, ‘Jetset’ aka one of the main guys I had been dating walked up hand and hand with a woman.  He was looking very un ‘Jetset’ however. When we go out he is usually in something like an YSL suit, with Burberry cufflinks, hand crafted Italian shoes, etc. “Well hello sir.” I said with a smile, more than a little surprised to see him. I knew we were not exclusive, but I also knew we had a schedule date the very next night, I didn’t know he had booked out this night too. The girl he was with shot me the evil eye.

‘Mighty possessive for a first date.’ I thought to myself.  With great anxiety he pardoned himself from his date went to talk to me on th back patio of Cielo.  He told me it was a first date, it was last minute, that he wasn’t really interested in her, and the date was already going very badly. I let him know that we weren’t exclusive so he shouldn’t sweat it, that I would see him tomorrow.

To make a long story short. She was not a date, she was his long term (almost three years) live in girlfriend! How do I know this? Well, she called me, from his phone…in tears. OH THE DRAMA! I apologized to her and said I had no idea (of course I didn’t know! My god what a cad he is!) He had lied to the both of us, and I was lucky that I had only invested a month into it, not three years. It was clear that he was enjoying the double life he was trying to cultivate: regular joe with her, and ‘jetset’ with me.

He called me later the next night to see if he could still see me, to apologize and explain. I just sighed, and with my best Eartha Kitt impression I purred, “Dahhhhling…I believe this affair is very, very over.”

So beware out there ladies. I was lucky that I took it slow, because you never know, if they have a ‘ho, in every area code.