Bar Crawl LES Style
Quoted from Wikipedia:
According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the term (including variations like "gin crawl" and "beer crawl") has been in use since the late 19th century. It's purportedly called a "crawl" because the participants are literally crawling from pub to pub after getting drunk at the first few joints.
Many European cities have public pub crawls that act as social gatherings for the local expat communities and tourists. These pub crawls focus on the social aspect of meeting new friends and being introduced to new bars in a strange city.
And with this the Irish Man, known only as Fergal (that’s right I said his name is Fergal) wanted to kick off the weekend before St. Patrick’s day right, with a Pub Crawl on the Lower East Side, with old friends and new. He posted the pub crawl map for a few friends on Facebook this past week and within 48 hours it had almost 800 hits.
This Blog is as dictated by Fergal.
7:00pm Parkside Tavern
The host: Fergal was the first one there. As host, and bell keeper (this was a serious bar crawl, there was beer to drink, people to see, and time was of the essence). Most people got there at 15 past 7pm.
The scene: Cool foosball table. Late comers were made to do shots in order to catch up (the bar crawls version of punishment for being late).
Persons in tow: 15 in total for the first bar.
Status of Schedule: On time
Average Drink per person: 1
Sobriety forecast: Clear
7:45pm Vasmay Lounge
The host: Fergal was surprised at how strict the bartender was. She was throwing a bit of attitude while she asked for everyone’s ID (I’ve been there before, I can’t stand this bar, and watch out, she will read your ID out loud and yell out your age to everyone within earshot).
The scene: It was buy one get one free if there before 8pm. The jukebox was great "all seventies." However, there was a drunken fat mumbling man being bothersome. The drunken fat guy was looking like he wanted to pick a fight. He started hassling Fergal’s friend Rocky (not unlike Balboa, a gentle giant). Rocky is more of a lover than a fighter, so when the drunken man knocked into Rocky causing him to spill his drink on his girlfriend; Fergal decided to take things into his own hands.
As a former boxer, Fergal wanted to put him in his place in a straightforward yet forceful way. Putting the man’s arm behind his back he informed him “It might be time for you to go…now.”
Mission accomplished.
Status of Schedule: On time
Average Drink per person: 1
Sobriety: Clear with chance of showers
8:15pm Welcome to the Johnsons
The bar crawlers arrived there about 5 minuets’ late.
The Host: Fergal was utterly impressed by the drink specials, “You know I got three beers and a shot for $8.00?” He said to me excitedly “$8.00 DOLLARS!!” Yes, the Johnson’s has the best happy hour in town.
The Scene: It was crowded (Happy Hour, so of course) Fergal sprawled out on the big couch by the pool table. Some of the girls played Miss Pac Man to entertain themselves as some of the indie rock posers manically stared at the girls. “These guys were overly trying to pick up the girls.” Fergal said.
No doubt throwing both bad lines and bad fashion sense.
Persons in tow: 25
Status of Schedule: On time (the Buzzer went off as they begin to leave the bar)
Average Drink per person: 2
Sobriety: Partly cloudy with a light drizzle
9:00pm Spitzer's Corner
It took about 20 min. to walk there from The Johnsons.
The Host: Fergal was impressed by the 20 named draft beers and over all thought it was a 'class' place.
The objective: Was to have one drink at every bar, it changed here. 2-3 drinks were consumed...trouble was potentially brewing.
The scene: One of the girls had an argument with one of the costumers trying to eat (the place was so crowded people were bumping into each other).
Status of Schedule: On time
Average Drink per person: 2-3
Sobriety: Definite Showers, more clouds rolling in.
9:45pm Lolita
The host: This is the first bar Fergal is not remembering completely.
He has to look on his blackberry to re-jog his memory, “AY! Ok, I remember this place.” He says to me as he looks at the pictures on his phone.
“This was where we picked up a 'stray’, an English fella.” Fergie said. 'He thought we were cool and liked the alarm."
One of Fergal's crew scored a date with a girl he meet at this bar.
Status of Schedule: On timish…
Average Drink per person: “I think 3” Fergie says
Sobriety: Sobrity. That’s a funny sounding word. Sob-ri-ty.
10:30pm King Size Bar
The Host: Fergal and his crew got to Kingsize about five minuets’ late. The punctual and dashing Tyrus was already there, as was Amber and two of her friends. Fergal couldn't get drink in that place. He tried to give the bar maiden a little Irish sugar.
She wasn't having it.
People in tow: They group was joined by 6 more strays and the group got to over 40 large.
Fergal changed from beer to whiskey.
Nothing good could come from this.
Status of Schedule: A few drop outs, but on time
Average Drink per person: who is keepin’ count?
Sobriety: Huh?
11:15pm Clandestine Bar
People in tow: 15 people. Most of the women and married fellows had to leave.
The Scene: The bar was tiny. There was a sign on the wall "no sheep allowed any sheep will be curried."
They ended up going to another bar before the last scheduled bars ...they don't remember the name of the bar...lots of slurred words and stumbling. A few people leaning against wall...
The host: Fergal motivates the troopers...the clock was no longer the use....
The person who was in charge of the clock could no longer see the numbers (...ehem....Fergal.)
Status of Schedule: What schedule?
Warning: Detour
Average Drink per person: 4 (plus shots, but do shots really even count?)
Sobriety: Drunkness: 11 on a scale of 10.
12 Midnight Sweet Paradise Lounge
The Scene: Couldn't find the bar, as there is no sign on the outside of the bar, it was very crowed. Women got drinks right away, however the fellows had a much more difficult time. They managed to all get about three drinks.
The Host: Fergal kind of remembers having about three Jameson and cokes in under thirty minuets’.
People in tow: The crowed was down to the hardcore 12. There were 2 more bars planned, but things were going a rye.
Food was now on the agenda. Fergal and crew jumped into a cab to get food. This is when he lost his cell phone. He called from his blackberry and a girl picked up.
"Hello who is this?" She said.
"I'm the owner of the phone." Fergal said (no doubt in the thickest drunken Irish accent known to mankind).
Wanting proof that it was his phone he let he know that “Spider Pig” was his phone ring.
Thoroughly convinced that it was his phone they attempted to negotiate a meeting place.
He offered her cab fair to come down.
She refused. "You can come up here, I'll leave it with my doorman"
He was on the LES. His phone was on 73rd and 2nd Ave.
A haired trip indeed.
After procuring his phone and dropping $30 dollars on the cab ride this Irishman made his way back home.....
Status of Schedule: Who the f**k nows
Average Drink per person: countless
Drunkness: Passing out…zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
